Mission Not Accomplished

Postman Pat runs away after failing a mission.

One day, at Pencaster Station, Pat heard the terrible news that the stained glass window had cracked. Ajay could not accept the delivery, because it was unsafe, and declared this mission "not accomplished". Back at the SDS sorting office, Ben and Pat were upset that for the first time ever, it was "Special Delivery Service: Mission Not Accomplished". So, Pat and Jess, having had their record blemished, escaped Pencaster and Greendale in the SDS helicopter.

The twisted postman and his cat went to London, where Hortence of "Dan vs." fame was filming her new show "Burgerphile Express". On the TV, Postman Pat was caught stripping naked. The camera crew shooed him off, but he stole a truck and almost ran into them, colliding with a street lamp and it fell on Mr. Bean's car. Mr. Bean was angry at Pat, and beat him up.

Then, he ran to the toilets, where he wanked all over the security personnel and was declared criminally insane. So, he went to jail.

But he broke out. Then, he fell over at the exit and went splat on his cat. Jess the Cat was squashed flat. He was very injured so he went to hospital. But the paramedics saw him as the Pat who caused a public disturbance earlier in the day. Mr. Bean and Hortence decided to have him sent to a mental asylum. But, after grabbing a hypnotising ray, the cameraman for her show zapped Hortence with it and filmed it all, including the sexy bits. Pat grabbed her tits, and it was back to jail for him.

"NOOOOO!" he cried.

Now, back to Pencaster, and without Pat to fix the problem, it would truly be "Mission Not Accomplished". Ben was worrying about the prospect, had to replace Pat if he wasn't coming back, and that was tricky, seeing as no-one else in the area had as much experience at postal delivery as Pat.

So, he built a robot Pat, much like the Movie.

But he didn't think this through, as the robot was a hodge bodge of several bits and pieces stuck together, and it wasn't very good. He hired Ted to do it, and Ted's Patbot was MUCH better. He attempted to fix everything, but instead went haywire and smashed the window to pieces, and went to school to wreck the kids' mosaic picture. "NO!" cried Ben, as the robot Pat grabbed the mosaic, but Ben took it back, and rushed to the station to install it into the window.

But the robot grabbed his leg, took the mosaic, and used it for evil. He replaced all the people in the mosaic with penises. Ben was starting to cry, but it could be worse. It was. The robot then summoned his robot cat, Jessbot, to destroy it. Ben grabbed the picture and tried to undo the damage. He did so by restoring it back to its former glory. The day was saved! By then, Pat had returned to Pencaster, having escaped the Metro Police. He apologised and everything was good. The mosaic was installed and it was "Mission Accomplished" once again!!!

"YAY!!!!!!" said Pat, Ben, Ajay, Lauren and the kids.

Now, about the robots, they were arrested this time. Nuff said. And their names were put into the criminal database. And they were sent to a maximum security prison in Greendale, where P.C. Selby kept watch